While I was still playing on LJ, some things happened in RP that I thought were kinda foul. Things that left me wondering who my friends were, if I had to watch my back, yadda, whatever.

Once I'd been forcibly moved IJ, I'd decided two things and two things for sure:

1) I wasn't going to get involved in wank
2) I wasn't going to 'beg' for it anymore

I'd play with people who clearly wanted to play with me and avoid those that didn't. There are forty gazillion games on IJ and if one didn't want me, well, the other 39,999,999,999,999--- still presented an opportunity. I didn't have to put up with people who talked shit about me, my friends, whatever. There are rules on my user info for a reason.

Way back when, I had a fight with someone. She let someone say something nasty about me and she didn't defend me when I wasn't there to defend myself. This, to me, was just as bad as saying those things herself. Because if you don't agree with what someone is saying about your friends, you need to stand up for them. She and I had this MASSIVE falling out and a week later, talked it out and moved on. Three and a half years later, she and I are amazing friends.

Two days ago, another friend said something to me: You're one of the few people I can argue with who sticks around after. That's rare online, I've found.

She's right. I've fought with a great many people. I've also remained friends with a good many of them after. Because the internet, while srsbidness, doesn't trump feelings.

The other day, someone thought that, in retaliation to in game wank, they could bring in all my personal LJ wank and attack my characters and all kinds of stuff. And while I adore her as a person, and I do, this isn't someone I want to play with. It's not someone that I care to follow any more. Especially when I respected her friends and the things they said as well. I even respected the fact that they didn't agree with the temporary plotfix in game, even if I didn't like the fact that they came back and were nasty.

My contact information is not hidden. I'm findable, constantly. And yet, the things I've found that have been said about me and MY friends recently aren't just hurtful, they're downright nasty for the sake of being nasty. Which, granted, is something I've been in the past. Not since I've been on IJ. Not since I said, "I'm not going to be THAT WAY anymore." And not one person came to me and said, "This is how I'm feeling" or "This is what I think of you/your character/your mom/your dog". Nothing. Just back-handed, behind the scenes nastiness.

And hey, if that's the way ya'll wanna roll? Gravy. I've done the, "I'm a badass bitch and I'ma gonna fuck you up" bit. In fact? I owned that in TM/RotM and a host of other comms on LJ. But this grownup is tired and ready to move on.

I'm not attaching the wank-caboose to this engine. If ya can't fix it? Ya'll gots to go.
ramdonomo: (Default)
( Aug. 15th, 2008 08:55 am)
I had a post up that hurt some people that I considered friends and some people I considered friends wrote some stuff in retaliation that really hurt me. So... I took my post down. It was wrong of me to write it in the first place and I'm sorry. That's what private entries are for and the rules that I have on my user info are there for a reason.

If you were a part of that post and need a copy of your specific comment, let me know. But it's private now and will stay that way.

No comments allowed on this one. Questions? Email me.
Saw my sister *smooches*, saw Rach *smooches*, did laundry, had dinner and then?

Got into the jacuzzi tub with a glass of wine. Oooh, bubbles.

Aaaaaaand I thought. Then? I thought some more. And was reminded of certain things and thought some more.

Now, I'm going to bed so I don't THINK anymore.

But all things being equal? The simplest decisions are never the easiest.
I had a post, but I bahleeted it.

*chants* We are now drama-free. We WILL not use other's past transgressions against them as ours are being used against us. We are now drama-free. We WILL not spread past bidness around. We are now drama-free. We WILL not attack others OR bring down games we love at the cost of revenge. We are now drama-free...

Woo-sah. *breathes*

Edit: Doesn't mean that [Lani] , [EJ] and now [Rachael] don't have somethin' to say. <3
.

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