I may not know it

... and I am just not feelin' it. Which, yeah. It's a shame and all that. And I guess people have noticed. Lodi said she doesn't like it that my Christmas season doesn't start until Christmas. Lani said that she misses me singing Christmas carols in August. And Cheryl said that I suck.

I'm sorry. I DO suck. It's not even right, I know.

I tried, though, right? I made cookies and baked muffins and bread and played Christmas carols... it didn't work.

Cher wanted to decorate the tree? I knew she wanted to go get more decorations and... yeah, I went, but eh. She mostly ended up doing most of the work.

Know why? I remember no power until Christmas Eve and then going, "Oh, yeah. Tree. I guess. Sure." And then staying up til two in the morning and doing it and it was all just SUCKY. CHRISTMAS SUCKED. I HATED IT.

AND I DON'T WANT TO HATE IT.

I hate this.

Have you ever, ever, ever read a more self-pity filled entry, like... ever? I win. I hate that.

Today? My 12th wedding anniversary.

I've been married for TWELVE YEARS now. Twelve. Chew on that a second.